Marlee K Bruinsma, Civil Marriage Celebrant  0437 713 575

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Including children in your ceremony

If you have children, you can include them in a number of ways:

• as a best man or maid of honour, page boy or flower girl or junior bridesmaid
• by making promises to them in your ceremony
• including them in a ritual like a sand ceremony, pebble toss or unity ceremony or butterfly release
• giving them gifts
• appointing them as the official bubble blowers
• all signing a family wedding certificate
• giving their parents away

Best Women, groomswomen, bridesmen and man of honour

Many couples have friends of both sexes and often have a unisex wedding party, with the bride’s male friends standing on her side, along with her female friends, and the groom’s female friends standing on his side during the ceremony. This tends to be a lot of fun even if taking a little bit of co-ordination with wedding attire.

Pick a seat, not a side

This is especially a good practice where the bride and groom have very uneven size families so that it balances out the numbers on either side if seated. Another good tradition is placing the bride’s and groom’s parents and close family diagonally opposite them (not the bride’s family seated on the side the bride is standing or the groom’s family on the same side as the groom) so that they can see their children more clearly as they say their vows.

Bride and groom walking down the aisle together

Some brides and grooms like to make an entrance together rather than having the groom waiting for the bride. Each time this has been done in a ceremony I have officiated at, the guests have greeted them with spontaneous applause.

Or the groom can make an entrance, followed by the bride after a suitable interval. I have fond memories of a groom who walked with his groomsmen down the aisle to “I’m Too Sexy”. Another courageous groom and his men made their entrance cantering down an embankment on their horses. The brides followed after an interval to their own songs and entrances.

The bride can walk half way up the aisle or path, where she meets her groom and both walk together to the ceremony area.

One couple I married led a procession of their guests through New Farm Park to their wedding venue, accompanied by an Andes band.

Including furry family members

Some couples like to include their dog as the ring bearer or ride their favourite horse to the ceremony area.

Surprise weddings

I have officiated at several weddings where the ceremony was a surprise for the guests. You can’t surprise each other as bride and groom as you both need to sign paperwork at least a month before your wedding. You can have an engagement party and get married, or invite the family for Christmas and get married or have a birthday party and get married! It’s super hard to keep the secret however. In one wedding I did, the only surprise was for the bride and groom as all their guests knew they were getting married but managed to keep it a secret that they had found out about the wedding!

Combining cultural traditions

If you and your partner are from different cultures or backgrounds, you can design a wedding ceremony that honours both heritages. For example, I did a coin ceremony for a bride from the Philippines and a groom from China. We used 8 coins (a lucky number in China) while the coin ceremony itself was from the Philippines.

As more and more civil wedding ceremonies are performed, new traditions develop that reflect the changes in our society over time and a couple’s circumstances, family and friends...

there are many ways to include your children in a ceremony - from a role as a best man or page boy or flower girl or junior bridesmaid to signing a family wedding certificate or sharing a special part of the ceremony like a sand ritual or rose ceremony

Ways of walking down the aisle

You can walk down the aisle with both parents, with a grandparent, your children or a best friend. Both of you can walk down the aisle together or separately or with your parents. You can dance down the aisle or or even not have an aisle!