Marlee K Bruinsma, Civil Marriage Celebrant  0437 713 575

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Choosing your marriage vows

I give you tips to write your own vows and choices of other vows for inspiration or use. You can adapt these to make them personal to you and add you own special touches - romantic or quirky,with a touch of fun and a pinch of sweetness.

If you aren’t the mushy type, you can have vows that are short and to the point as well. It really is your choice.

In Australia, you need to include certain words in your vows to make your marriage legal and then you can add your personal vows.

Some couples write their vows separately to share on their wedding day and some share the same vow with each other - it’s really a personal choice.

Saying your vows

You can:

• repeat your vows after your celebrant
• read them from a card or
• if really brave, remember them (with your celebrant there to prompt you if you forget).

Your vows are one of the most important parts of your wedding ceremony and I give you lots of support and ideas to make sure you are happy with them.

Wedding rituals

Sand ceremonies

Sand ceremonies are a popular choice for weddings, especially if a couple has children. You can also involve parents in your sand ceremony, pouring sand to represent the foundation of love your families have provided to each of you through life and their continuing support of your marriage. Or your children. There are a wide range of colours now and you can pour colours that symbolically represent qualities that you would like to infuse your marriage with, for example, orange for optimism, blue for peace, red for passion... You can find some interesting containers at op shops or some specialty sand ceremony containers through wedding suppliers. At a Christmas time wedding I did for one couple with children, they used a Christmas tree shaped bottle and poured glitter instead of sand - a lot of fun!

Handfasting

Handfasting ceremonies (“tying the knot”) are a great way to add interest to your ceremony. You can involve family or friends in laying ribbons across your hands, before all their wishes and love are tied together in a handfasting knot that is kept tied to symbolise your lives joining in marriage.

Rose ceremonies

The rose, a symbol of love, can be used in your ceremony, again using colours such as white to represent your pure intentions, red to represent love. You can also involve your children in your rose ceremony, a symbol of your love for them.

Wine ceremonies

A wine ceremony can work particularly well when marrying at a vineyard but you can include it no matter where you marry. There are many versions of the wine ceremony, including one where you seal love letters to each other into a box with a bottle of wine to share on your first, or another, anniversary. You can toast each other with wine and then include a toast from your guests at the end of the ceremony if you like. The cup of wine represents life and all that it contains - the sweet and the bitter - and remembering to celebrate the fine things that life together brings.

Coin ceremony

In this ceremony, the groom drops coins into his bride’s hands, symbolising his promise to help provide for her and she drops the coins back into his hands, symbolising sharing their earnings and wealth and working together for their future.

Cord ceremony

The cord, in a figure of eight, is looped over the shoulders of bride and groom, symbolising infinity and unity.

Candle ceremonies

There are many candle ceremonies, from unity ceremonies where each family lights a candle, then passes on that love and light to their children, the bride and groom, who then light their own family candle, symbolising the joining of the two families. You can light a single marriage candle or a candle to remember a loved one whose love lives on in your hearts.

Wishing tree

Provide cards for your guests to write their wishes and hopes for your future and a tree to hang them on. These provide a reminder of your wedding day and the tree symbolises growth, shelter, shade and strength.

There are many other interesting rituals to include in your ceremony or together we can create one especially for your wedding.

Freebie: 10 interesting rituals for your ceremony (PDF 151KB)

Civil marriage ceremonies give you a wide choice in vows and rituals for your wedding ceremony. You can write your own vows or choose from a selection of vows in my planning book or online. I also offer you ideas for rituals to make your ceremony personal and memorable.

exchanging rings can be done as part of your marriage vows or you can have a separate ring vow

You don’t have to include a ritual in your ceremony but if any appeal to you, it is a great way of personalising your ceremony. I can develop a ritual to suit your wedding or personalise a traditional ritual too. Rituals are a point of interest for guests and often result in a keepsake of your ceremony.